Comienza la gala de Supervivientes…

Ya empezamos.

Lo primero que vemos es un corte de Toni Genil luchando con Tamara Gorro como si fuera un león del Himalaya por un trozo de coco.

En Gran Hermano ya le habrían expulsado y colgado del palo mayor por los huevos, pero como esto es Supervivientes, se permiten las salvajadadillas.

Madre del amor hermoso. Incluso con Aída fuera de la isla, nos tienen que machacar con ella. Ahora la vemos en el aeropuerto, poniendo a parir a todos sus compañeros. ¿Quién no hace eso siempre que se baja del avión?

El Papa cuando bajaba del aparato, primero besaba el suelo y luego se ponía a poner a parir a los santos…

Creo que Jorge Javier Vázquez es una morcilla de Burgos. Si no, no se entiende que siempre salga de entre las llamas, como si estuviera saltando de una parrilla.

Le preguntan a la prima de Vaguirrín que si la Pantoja quiere que el niño se vaya de la isla o se quede. Ja ja ja, la pela es la pela, amigos.

Esta semana se ahorran el helicóptero. Los nominados van a saltar de una plataforma en medio del mar, que es más barata y contamina menos.

En la prueba de esta noche es muy posible que Jacobo Ostos se nos quede en el sitio. Este chaval es más flojo que el papel de fumar. J. J. Vázquez dice que Jacobo es un macho ‘prime time’. Y yo añado, es una media nena all the time.

Y como tenía que pasar, han palmado la prueba. Ahora le echarán la culpa a Sonia, pero claro, es que Jacobo la ha abandonado y ha salido corriendo como una gallina sin cabeza. Eso es un caballero y lo demás son tonterías.

Se cierran las líneas. Pero claro eso no me dice mucho después de lo que confesó el otro día María José Galera, que ella se fue de Gran Hermano por un pacto con la organización y sin ser la más votada…

Bueno, el caso es que los anónimos son los que se llevan la recompensa de la semana, que viene siendo una navaja multiusos. Yuju.

Los anónimos han tenido problemas porque hay quien mea en la isla. ¿Pero eso por qué pudiendo subir el volumen de las aguas echando un pis en el mar? ¿Qué puede ser más gustoso que bañarte en tu propia orina?

Tony Genil está tan contento como si le hubieran sentado a ver a los payasos de la tele. Pero el buen rollo se acaba cuando J. J. Pájez habla del mal rollo Tamara-Toni.

El caso es que estos dos premios Nobel se enfrentaron por un coco. Tony Genil se puso como Gollum, diciendo que el coco era suyo. «Es mi tesoro», le faltó decir.

Tamara no tardó en ponerse a lloran un poco, por demostrar que es una gran actriz además de una gran colaboradora de la tele.

Tony, sincero como una hiena hambrienta, dice que le pide perdón a Tamara. J. J. Pájez dice que Tamara ha sido una «mosca cojonera» con Tony. Vamos, que son los dos de la liga de la amistad.

Ay, el coco, el coco, el coco loco. Anda que no hay buenos cocos calvos en la isla, para que Tony se pelee por uno de los peludos.

Ahora vemos a Tony soltando culebras por la boca. Si esto fuera un tebeo, le habrían puesto un montón de rayos y centellas y calaveras. También hemos visto cómo el niño cantor hacía una especie de vudú chapucero con una muñeca-coco.

Rosa Benito ya se ha metido. A esta mujer le dijeron que en la tele gritara y opinara de todo y eso hace ella. El caso es que les van a poner una penalización tanto a Tony como a Tamara. Lo sabremos después.

Ahora J. J. Pájez le pregunta a Loli Álvarez, reina de la canción, si Tony no será un poco misógino, porque sólo se pelea con las mujeres de la isla.

Aprovechamos para cambiar de hilo.

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