Hola a todos.
Mis amígdalas ya hacen su vida. Ya se han ido de mi y ahora recorren el mundo en busca de otras amígdalas con las que casarse y tener pequeñas glandulitas.
Eso sí, han dejado un gran vacío en mi, que me está doliendo a base de bien y no en el sentido espiritual, precisamente. Pero dejemos de hablar de mis mutilaciones y hablemos de la gala de ayer.
La cosa comenzó con una reprimenda a Jacobo, que es más tierno que el niño Jesús del belén. No come, porque no le gusta el coco ni el pescado (debió pensar que en la isla iba a tener hamburguesas con patatas) y por supuesto tampoco trabaja.
Se dedica a poner cara de circunstancias y a tumbarse, a esperar que la debilidad física le saque de la isla sin tener que pagar la multa por abandono. Si es que mucho gimnasio y mucha carita linda y luego son más blandos que mis amígdalas.
El caso es que Jorge Javier alias «Comentariojocoso», le echó la bronca por hundir a los demás y por hacer una huelga de hambre encubierta. Con su cara de niño de teta enfurruñado él lo negó todo.
A Vaguirrín también le regañaron. Al parecer el chaval tiene gota. Tócate los colgantes reales. Y no bebe el agua que debe beber para que no le den ataques de gota, porque dice el chaval del cuerpo cansado que el agua que les dan está caliente. ¿Pero qué la quiere, con hielo y en vaso de tubo?
¡¡MENUDOS NIÑATOS BLANDENGUES HAN METIDO!! Estos dos tenían que pasar una guerra, aunque fuera de almohadas.
Y llegó el primer momento Mamachicho de la noche. Telecinco en estado puro, en sus comienzos. La prueba de recompensa consistía en que tres mujeres, Rosa Tegrito, Tatiana Pechazo y Jessica Puerro se revolcaran en el barro para que luego tres hombretones las restregaran todo el cuerpo recogiendo ese barro en unos recipientes.
Una prueba muy de medir la capacidad intelectual y la capacidad de concentración…
Si conseguían una cantidad de barro podían elegir entre una caja con anzuelos, diez cocos o un kilo de harina. Ganaron (había mucha superficie que toquetear entre las tres) y se quedaron con los anzuelos.
Nunca pensé que diría ésto, pero echo de menos a Jesús Vázquez. ¿Por qué? No soporto los comentarios de graciosillo jocoso de Jorge Javier Pájez. No me interesa su vida sexual, ni que esté más en ayunas que Carpanta.
Sonia y Reyes saltaron de nuevo del helicóptero, como nominados que son. Debe haber tarifa plana de helicóptero y por eso lo usan hasta para cagar. El caso es que consiguieron completar su última prueba y ganaron para el grupo cinco latas de comida.
Segundo momento Mamachicho de la noche. Se pone a hablar Sonia mientras nos muestran un primer plano de sus tetas. Las increíbles tetas parlantes de Supervivientes.
El barco fantasma, según supimos, es más bien el barco de Vacaciones en el mar. Resulta que Diego y Aída ya se conocían y entre ellos ha surgido una estrecha amistad, que ve con malos ojos Jeyko, que quería trinchar a Diego.
Tercer momento Mamachicho de la noche. Conectan con la palapa y allí tenemos un primer plano del culo de Tatiana Culazo. Al final, se convierte en un plano secuencia de su cagadero. En este caso no habla.
Pudimos ver el mucho cariño que le tienen todos a Toni Genil. Lo resumía muy bien Rosa Tegrito: «No le he cogido asco, lo que pasa es que es un metemierda«. Vamos, que están encantados con el pequeño cantor.
Reyes, como expulsado que fue, se tuvo que ir al barco, donde se encontró con Aída. Allí, la mujer de las movidas intentó timarle, contándole un rollo raro que J. J. Pájez desmintió enseguida.
Entonces, los anónimos debieron decidir quién se quedaba con ellos en el barco y quién era el expulsado. A pesar de que Reyes dijo que odiaba los barcos y las ratas y que no le hacía mucho quedarse, le eligieron a él y decidieron (con un estrecho margen) largar a Aída, que se queda en el barco hasta el lunes, que hay edición especial de Supervivientes.
Por otro lado, salieron nominados Jacobito el niño blandito y Sonia, la mujer de hierro. Más que nada, fue una estrategia de José Montalvo, que se hizo con el collar de líder, para que echen a su amiguito, que sin deportivos, clubs de campo y ropita de marca no es feliz.
Y así acabó la cosa, amigos. ¡Un beso a todos!
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