Jacobo I ‘El flojo’ y Vagurrín

Pues eso, que les van a sancionar, a Tamara y a Tony por haberse «arreado» e insultado de lo lindo.

Ahora vemos un vídeo resumen de Jacobo Ostos, que es como ver un vídeo de Patricio Estrella durmiendo.

Jacobito el pijito se pasa el día lloriqueando, durmiendo, tumbado, llorando, durmiendo, lloriqueando… y no me repito, es que ese es su régimen de vida.

Y claro, al principio sus compañeros le apoyaban, pero ahora están hartos de hacerle de chachas al señorito de Honduras. «Nena», le llamó José. Le preguntan a Vaguirrín sobre la inactividad de Jacobo, que es como preguntarle a Satán sobre Lucifer.

Ahora conectamos con Jaime Ostos, que dice que le han insultado al nene, con lo bien educado y buen muchacho que es. Sí, en la isla están encantados con él. Dice su señor padre que ha sido todo por una cuestión psicológica.

Y le van a poner a su retoño, que se ha licenciado en derecho. Ojo. Le dice al pijín que en España la gente le adora. No sé a qué España se refiere. El torero usa la táctica del profesor que tiene manía: o sea, que los de la isla le odian y que por eso le llaman vago.

El pobre papá del pijín aún tiene esperanzas de que su hijo le de la vuelta a todo eso y se muestre como un macho de los de verdad, pero Jacobo le interrumpe para decir que nones, que la única vuelta que quiere es a España.

Lo siento, amigo torero, el niño no da para más. No insita, es flojillo, hay que quererle así.

¡¡¡JA!!! Tatiana Delgado dice que Kiko es un priviliegiado «aunque no por el bocadillo». Ahora Sonia dice que a ella le pareció mal y que sólo han sido tres días.

«Este programa se llama Supervivientes, no supervividores», dijo Sonia Monroy. ¡¡Que buena definición!!

Vaguirrín dice ahora que la medicación ha hecho su efecto (la medicación y la comida, jodío) y que sólo le ha dolido un poquito.

Ahora, el chaval debe decidir si se queda o se va. Claro, que no lo tiene que decir ahora, se lo preguntarán al final de la gala, como si lo viera. Le han dado un pergamino de su yaya, en el que le pone que luche y que ayude.

Vaguirrín se nos pone melancólico. Se pone a relatar la cantidad de cosas que le incomodan en la isla. Otro que pensaba que iba a un hotel. ¿Esta gente no ha visto nunca el programa?

Ahora le ponen a Francisco Rivera al teléfono. Se ponen a charlar en plan locutorio sobre el pie gotoso de Kiko. Francisco le anima diciendo que lo está bordando y que tiene mucho arte.

Ahora nos toca otra sesión de peloteo de Telecinco a la Pantoja, a ver si le sacan una exclusivita. De hecho, hacen salir a la prima de Kiko del plató para que llame a la cantaora.

Madre del amor hermoso. Galileo se habría sacado los ojos y se habría arrancado las orejas al oir las teorías cósmicas de Tony, por no hablar de sus conocimientos de mares y océanos.

Ahora vemos una prueba que van a hacer los famosos, de la que podrían beneficiarse los anónimos.

El juego consiste en preguntas y respuestas, a Tony, Tamara y Jose. Los 3 deben acertar la misma pregunta. Si fallan, la recompensa es para los anónimos.

La primera recompensa son una albóndigas. Les preguntan en qué mar están. Madre del amor hermoso. No ha acertado ni uno. Era el mar caribe. Los anónimos se llevan las albóndigas y se las zampan en el momento, como buitres leonados.

Segunda recompensa: Pizzas. Les preguntan por la capital de Honduras. Los tres aciertan. Comen como perros.

Ahora concursan Rosa, Jacobo y Kiko. La pregunta es la diferencia horaria. 8 horas, todos aciertan y comen un muslito de pollo.

Siguiente pregunta: ¿Quién ganó supervivientes 2010? Fue María José. Kiko la caga y pierden la recompensa.

El turno de Sonia, Tamara y Jessica. Les preguntan si el sol gira al rededor de la tierra o al revés. Increíble, pero la cagan. A tomar por saco los tacos de la recompensa, que se zampan los anónimos.

Profiteroles en juego. Les preguntan cuántos continentes tiene la tierra. Dicen con sus dos cojones, que depende.  En cualquier caso, anulan la pregunta por chivarse. Los anónimos se están poniendo finos a comer.

Cambianos de hilo.

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