Se separan en dos equipos y deben competir por meter unos cocos en unas cestas.
Para que quede claro, Raquel Sánchez Silva dice que vale todo, placajes, empujones… Hala. Le ha faltado decir, piquetes de hojos, pellicar pezones, meter los cocos por el recto del contrario…
Aída y Rosa son las capitanas. Piden por equipos. Antes me pido de compi a un cangrejo de las rocas que a Vagurrín.
La recompensa son dos pollos asados con patatas fritas. Los han visto y se les ha hecho la boca agua.
Comienza la prueba. El equipo de Rosa Benito va ganando, gracias a Jacobito, que está lanzado.
El equipo blanco es más inútil que ir a cagar al campo y cagarse fuera. Joe, ha marcado hasta Vaguirrín. Y es que no hay nada que motive más al muchacho que la posibilidad de comer.
Han quedado cientoylamadre a cero.
Ahora vamos a ver cómo se comen el pollo y las patatas en dos minutos. Vaguirrín es una máquina de deborar. Como le agarre la mano a uno, se le muerde igual. Por su parte, Toni ha agarrado una pechuga y le está dando unos bocaos que lo ve Tiburón y se acojona.
Comiendo a ese ritmo, Vaguirrín al final va a ser el único concursante que gane peso en la isla.
Ahora nos enteramos de que es la primera vez que Rosa Benito ve un condón. Tócate los huevos. Han colgado uno lleno de agua en la cabaña para espantar a las moscas. Nos ha jodío, las moscas tendrán miedo de que las empalen.
Ahora les van a presentar a Tamara Gorro. Aplauden todos, menos Aída, que también ha tenido movida con ésta.
Me gustaría saber el porcentaje sobre la población mundial que no hay tenido movida con Aída.
Ahora la madre de Aída charla con ella, por aquello de que es su cumpleaños. La felicita y le dice que lo está haciendo bien y que es una superviviente. Se debe referir a que aún no la han estrangulado sus compañeros. Y se le pone a hablar en árabe un ratín.
Lo que no haga la comida… Le han llevado una tarta y todos sus compañeros se ponen a cantar el cumpleaños feliz más contentos que unas castañuelas, no vaya a ser que Aída no les invite.
Aída dice que prefiere compartir el pastel. J. J. Pájez dice que quien quiera pastel debe darla dos besos y desearle feliz cumpleaños. El pastel se queda entero…
Ah, pues no. Toni Genil no tiene escrúpulos y es el primero en coger tarta. Rosa Benito también hace de tripas corazón y va a pillar pastel. Esto es como cuando alguien se muere, de repente todos la quieren y dicen cosas bonitas de ella.
Jacobo dice que no quiere pastel… Pero Vaguirrín sí que quiere, a pesar de que le escupiera a la cara. Y es que un buen pastel y un estómago rugiente acerca a los más enfrentados.
Si en la segunda guerra mundial hubiese habido pastel, Adolfo y Churchil habrían hecho las paces.
Jacobo no quería pastel, pero mira la tarta de los demás con unos ojos de deseo que ni Carpanta.
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